About us

WE ARE HERE TO CLEAN UP YOUR BAD WASHING HABITS! 

 

LUMBERJACK HAS HAD ENOUGH! We are not another soft skincare brand selling you botanical dreams and flimsy promises. We exist because we are furious about the FINANCIAL INCOMPETENCE and CHEMICAL MESS that dominates your hygiene shelf.

Lumberjack The Moose is founded on one principle: EFFICIENCY WITHOUT THE BULLSHIT! We are the counterweight to an industry that wants you to buy water, pay for unnecessary chemicals, and accept mediocrity.

 

OUR MISSION: OPTIMIZE YOUR HYGIENE ACCOUNTING!

 

We view your shower as an investment portfolio. Every dime you spend must yield MAXIMUM RETURN (ROI). That is why we REJECT industry standards that create waste:

  • We Attack the Water Lie: We sell CONCENTRATED bar soap. Why pay for a truck to haul 80% WATER in a plastic bottle? That’s economic idiocy. We give you more product and less waste.

  • We Eliminate the Unnecessary FEES: We use clean, documented ingredients and avoid aggressive synthetic compounds and preservatives. You pay for FUNCTIONALITY AND QUALITY—not for chemical insurance designed to keep the product from rotting on the shelf.

  • We Respect Specialization: We reject the ridiculous "All-in-One" philosophy. Your body is not one large index fund! Hair, skin, and beard require SPECIALIZED TOOLS! We make products that do ONE THING PERFECTLY—not five things poorly.

 

QUALITY IS NOT OPTIONAL – IT IS A REQUIREMENT

 

We combine Nature's Raw Strength (organic oils, butters, and botanical actives) with The Logic of Science (testing, stability, and verifiable effectiveness). We are not naively natural. We are efficiently natural.

When you buy a Lumberjack The Moose product, it’s not a soft choice; it's a SMART DECISION. This means:

  • You get genuine value: Our products last longer and work harder.

  • You get genuine transparency: We don’t lie about ingredients, testing, or labels.

  • You get results: Your skin and hair get the RIGHT TOOL FOR THE JOB!

STOP BEING A COMPROMISE BUYER. If you are ready to MAXIMIZE EFFICIENCY and FINANCE QUALITY in your life, you are ready for LUMBERJACK THE MOOSE.